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Author, international speaker, single mom struggling to survive to rock star international business builder, Danelle Delgado, joins Lara Jaye in a deep conversation about overcoming, what she does to take care of herself, and much more! Forced to make a change she went from working three jobs, 80-90 hours a week and struggling to survive, to an award winning success in business by persisting her way in to align with some of the world’s most renowned business experts and gained them as her personal mentors.

After years of high-level learning with them, she has now built million dollar companies and become a skilled sales professional and elite mentor to numerous high performance entrepreneurs. She has taken the stage with the likes of Grant Cardone, Les Brown, Darren Hardy, Lewis Howes and more, where her online marketing, branding techniques and human performance strategies are unlike any other in the industry and the world has taken note. Danelle says, “first it’s about building the person, then one can master the skills. Confidence and competence are quite the perfect combination.”

Her 4th company, Life Intended, launched to massive success in 2015 and has never slowed down. Training advancing entrepreneurs to create accelerated results, maximum profits and make winning in life an inevitable is her every day focus on an international scale. From LIVE events in the US and Australia, online academies, global elite retreats, international masterminds, and the highly anticipated release of her personal development mentorship club, Life Intended PRO, lives are upscaling at mach speeds.

Danelle is one of the most highly regarded training experts in the industry and quickly becoming the go-to female to train sales, marketing and business strategy world-wide. She resides in Colorado with her three kids twins age 9, and oldest age 10 where she works relentlessly to transform the lives of every driven entrepreneur and business professional ready to stop playing small and achieve their greatest potential both personally and professionally. Life is not about success, it is about significance…and she is determined to be an advancer of all souls aching to make their dreams realities.

 

Lara Jaye:Welcome to The Zen Leader Show, helping you transform your life and find greater satisfaction and peace. I’m your host, Lara Jaye, international bestselling author and speaker, helping you find your happy. You know, that spot inside of you that feels calm and peace even when chaos is swirling around you. My guest today knows all too well that chaos and also knows how to find the calm and peace, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. She is an author, international speaker, single mom struggling to survive to a rock star international business builder. Welcome, Danelle Delgado. How are you today?

Danelle:Thank you. I am awesome.

Lara:Great! I’m so excited to have you on The Zen Leadertoday.

Danelle:Thank you for having me. It’s such a pleasure to meet you. I’m excited that we get to do even more together.

Lara:Yes, this is fun. This is fun. Love it, love it. Danelle, you have quite a story and our listeners… I love stories that have a happy ending and yours does as you continue to live out your life and your journey, but tell us how things went. Tell us how things went down and how you got there because things weren’t always happy, right? To get there, sometimes we have to… what do we have to do? Go through something, right?

Danelle:Right. It’s interesting that you say that because it’s true. When we’re born, when we’re little and we grow up, we have this dream, whether it be the Cinderella story or the ideal life or the big dreams. Things happen around the time for most people, middle school, high school, college, those years, people transform and they forget about a lot of those things. I think I was one of the rare human beings that never forgot about those things, and I was always a big dreamer. It was always like, “Now there she is, sunshine and rainbows and head in the sky.” Everything I did, I never expected to fail. I just thought, “Well, everything is possible.” It’s kind of how I lived life. I went through life. I don’t think a lot was that challenging for me in the beginning. I went to school. I got a job. I got married. I had three kids.

Lara:You’re living the American Dream.

Danelle:With the white picket fence, it was a brown picket fence, right?

Lara:A brown picket fence. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:That was great. I was really great friends with my spouse. We were really good friends, but then life happened, right? It can shift mountains in about two seconds, right? I ended up having twins that were two years old and my oldest was three, so they’re very close together. I ended up going through a divorce. That was pretty earth shattering for me. I never expected it. It was a surprise. I’d helped everybody else go through their struggles, and I had been a teacher. I had been a youth worker. I had done all of these things with kids that really paid nothing.

Lara:Well, that and you felt like you were doing everything right.

Danelle:Yeah, right? I followed the path.

Lara:You followed the path, right.

Danelle:I followed the rules. I wasn’t that much of a rule breaker, maybe one year in college.

Lara:Just one? [LAUGHTER] You did good.

Danelle:Just one. I was so young. I got married at 21. I thought I was happy, everything was good. When that shift happened, it was a real freeze-frame moment for me in my mind. I remember what it tasted like, smelled like, felt like, probably to never return to that, [LAUGHTER] right? But I do. I remember everything about that day and the day I walked out of that situation and some friends rented me an apartment for 30 days. I had to make a shift. I had to create income in 30 days to provide for my kids. I had no furniture, no nothing. I literally had $58 in my bank account. I was working on starting a business and that kind of thing from home as a mom, and it just hadn’t worked out yet.

            I took that money and I went and got a tent and I thought, “Well, the kids won’t notice that we don’t have furniture. We play.” We had a tent in our living room and that’s where it started. I had a little tiny apartment and I didn’t have time to be right, right? Most people, when they’re entrepreneurs and they’re getting started, the worst part is the fear, right? What if I fail? What if I embarrass myself? What if it doesn’t work? What if, what if, what if? Well, I didn’t have time for what if. I had 30 days.

Lara:You had to put food on the table.

Danelle:Yeah. I had nothing. It was really scary and my family, they didn’t believe in divorce. They all left. They thought I made a bad decision. I just kept thinking, “If this was my daughter, what would I do?” [LAUGHTER] I made those hard decisions that seemed like they would make no sense, that gave me no other options other than to win, because it was either win or die, right? [LAUGHTER] I did. I got started in sales and I always tell people. I go, “Listen, the phone will make you rich if you let it.”

Lara:Wow!

Danelle:Most people won’t pick it up. [LAUGHTER] I picked it up and I dialed, and I was told no more times than most people ever dial, right? [LAUGHTER] Just no, no, no, yes. No, no, no, no, no, yes. No, no, no, right? Yes, you’re crazy. I just figured, “Who cares? At this point. Everybody thinks I’m terrible. Nothing that I ever did, I was always all put together. Now I’m a disaster? Well, I’m going to sell.”

Lara:I got nothing to lose. I’m going for it, right? [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Nothing to lose, right? I think my whole point in life is to try and help people go, “Listen, let me help you before you have nothing to lose, because that point is not fun.” But a lot of people have to wait to that till they change their habits.

Lara:So you were very motivated.

Danelle:Very, like immediate. I think some of it was pride, like do not lose. You will not lose, right? But the rest of it was, “You have three amazing kids and you have one shot to make this work. Don’t screw up.” Right? I did. I sold and I sold, and I sold.

Lara:What were you selling? You were selling… this was not your company or it was?

Danelle:No. No.

Lara:You were working for someone else, okay.

Danelle:No, I did a couple of things and then I did a couple of networking opportunities. I literally had three jobs. Then I started network marketing on the side, which people were like, “You’re crazy. You’re going to put your three kids’ lives on that?” from your mom, your neighbor, and your aunt. I was like, “Well, not mine because they don’t really like me.” I was like, “What am I going to do?”

            I actually met some really incredible top earners in the world who were salespeople and they were genius. I watched and I watched, and I learned, and I built three networking companies extremely big really fast. I had no excuses. I didn’t have the normal things that most people did, people like a spouse who also earns money that could make them achieve less. I just had to go all-in. I called everyone I know. Literally, it was like subway guy was on my list. I didn’t even know his name. It was like, “I’m calling subway guy.” [LAUGHTER]

Lara:That is awesome.

Danelle:It was bad. What happened through all those no’s is I learned the art of sales. Because I was terrible at it, I learned that if I dropped all of those strategies and trainings, although I learned them all, right, I did read every single book, every single audio. I listened to Og Mandino as many times as I could,The Greatest Salesman in The World. I said, “You know what? There’s one thing I am great at and I love people.”

            I worked on my art of caring for people, and I learned that sales is serving dissatisfied people in time they do not have. If I could do it quickly and I could do it in a way that would be in their favor, I would never have to worry about getting a no. I sold and I sold and I sold, and then I realized, “I don’t want to sell things. I don’t want to sell products that people don’t really care about. I would like to help people believe in themselves.” Right? I was going through all of these things and I go, “You know why marriages are falling apart? Do you know why people are losing, sick, unhealthy, overmedicated? Because somewhere along the line they lost who they really are.”

            For me, in the pain, I found who I really was. I was like, “You know what? I’m going to learn from the best in the world who are speakers, trainers and teachers.” Because at this point, I could train sales, I could train people skills, I could train closing. I could do whatever I wanted to, and I’d been on stage at those companies training. I said, “I don’t want to train this stuff. I want to train people how to live their potential, how to go, ‘Listen, that idea, that dream you have in your heart, it’s meant to be real. It’s not just an idea. It’s not faked. It’s not created. It’s actually your path.'”

            I worked my way up to train with some of the best people in the world — Darren Hardy, Success Magazine, Grant Cardone, all of these huge leaders — and I got their attention through some creative tactics and started putting on my own live events, and got people to come in and give people the secrets as well as myself. It grew into my own massive company here in Australia, training people online. I have built a massive social media following by doing live videos on a chair, actually. I upgraded to a couch, which is nice. [00:10:00]

Lara:Ooh, fancy. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yeah. [LAUGHTER] We didn’t buy a couch until I hit a million dollars in sales, not funny. I didn’t want to sit on it, so I did it on a couch or in a chair. All of these things. But what happened was is I didn’t have time to look at why it wouldn’t work. I just said, “It’s going to work,” but what really was the kicker is I had found how to become my best self through my worst nightmare, and now I get to help everybody else find theirs, and it ended up being through sales, business strategy, and personal development. I love it. I love it.

Lara:I love that, Danelle. We’re going to take a break real quick, and when we come back, we have much more to the story, and we’ll be right back with Danelle Delgado.

[BREAK]

Lara:We’re back. I’m Lara Jaye with The Zen Leaderand with me here is Danelle Delgado. You can find my information on The Zen Leaderat WSRQ radio or larajaye.com. Danelle, what is your website where people can find you?

Danelle:Absolutely. I have two, danelledelgado.com and lifeintended.com.

Lara:Can you spell Danelle Delgado? [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yeah, d-a-n-e-l-l-e-d-e-l-g-a-d-o.com. Danelle.

Lara:Danelle. Love it, love it. Right before break, Danelle, we were just getting to the good part on your story. I have so much I want to talk about with sales, but let’s go back to you really… you started reaching out to people, like bigwigs that you didn’t even know. Is that really what you did?

Danelle:I did. You know it’s funny is I said, “You know what? I’m going to do this event, right? I’m going to start small. I’m going to have a few people in the room. I’m going to see if they love my training style, see if I can empower them and inspire and motivate,” and I was talking to a couple of my friends and one of them in particular, Cory, he said, “Why would you ever go small? If you’re going to do this, why would you do that? That makes no sense.” I go, “You’re right. I’m going to reach out to the biggest person that I met in my entire career,” and I called him. He was a professional NBA player. He’d also built million-dollar architecture businesses. I called him and I said, “Hey, I want you to be a guest speaker at my first big event.” He’s like, “How many people are coming?” I’m like, “Four so far, but I’m not done yet.” He goes, “What’s the budget?” I was like, “$0.11.”

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:He goes, “Come on!” [LAUGHTER]

Lara:I love your honesty.

Danelle:Right? What happened was I was going through all of this, okay? Amidst all of this, right before I launched this event, I was told I had cancer. I went through this journey of, “Oh, my gosh. I’m finally on top of the world. Now I’m sick? Very sick?” Really. It was this rollercoaster. I finally did it. Oh, my gosh! Right? When I took all this time, I took a look in the mirror and I said, “Listen, you can’t just run from it forever,” right? I had no doubt. My doctor was like, “Listen. When you have a lot of stress, when you do all this, when you don’t sleep, when you work millions of hours, it goes to the weakest part in your body. For you, that’s what happened and here’s where we’re at. So what are you going to do?”

            At this point is when I started dreaming up Life Intended. I started dreaming up all these live events and I started going, “If I’m going to make a difference in the world, I’d better start now,” right? Going after those big guys, that’s why. I didn’t know how long I was going to get, right? I didn’t know if I had a year or 10, or I was going to be okay. I said, “You know what? I don’t want to teach people mediocre training. I don’t want to work my way up and go, ‘Hey, you’re almost the best woman I could learn from. Can you teach me?'” I said, “No, I want to learn from the best ones.

            I reached out to [Jack?]. I reached out to Darren Hardy, and I got really creative through video to get their attention. I worked really hard to build a really big audience because what I learned is every big speaker needs a bigger audience. I provided the audiences. They came in and trained. I got to train with them. It built my credibility, but it also taught me all of the ins and outs of the speaker world, and I was delivering for people. People’s lives were changing. Their results were changing. Then I started going in and consulting and doing all these different things, and going, “It is the exact same things in every single business, and if I can help the person, then we can work on their strategy, then they can win.” Right? Big CEOs, right? “I want you to fix our culture and see what’s going on here.” I was like, “Well, can we just go to lunch? I’d like to start with you.” He was like, “Why do you want to start with me?” Well… [LAUGHTER]

Lara:Because that’s where it starts.

Danelle:Right. “Well, I’ll tell you after lunch.” [LAUGHTER]

Lara:[LAUGHTER] Just got to have lunch with me.

Danelle:Yeah.

Lara:I love that.

Danelle:So, so many people are aching to live their dream, but they’re living two minutes shy of it, right? They’re just a little tiny off course. Over time, right? They’re miles away.

Lara:There it goes. There it goes.

Danelle:People live average way too much. So go big or go home, and if I was going to tell people to do it, I had to do it, too.

Lara:I love that. Go big or go home. Really, that was what my first book was about was about we have this limitless life that we could live and to live, and to follow our dreams, and live your bravest dream. But why is it that we think that we don’t deserve it or we don’t do it? We continue status quo.

Danelle:Yes, it’s really interesting because some people, most people, it’s the thought that somebody very close to them put in their brain. Somebody who should have believed in them, so they allowed them into a really safe spot, right? It can be a family member, a spouse, a loved one, or somebody who they respected. If they got a critique or something that struck them or they tried and they failed a little bit, it owns a spot in their brain, right? How our brain works is first the thought comes in. Then it’s heard, right? It’s emotionalized and then it’s fact. That’s how everything happens.

            What happens is most people get stuck in the emotional part where they’re like, “But I lost last time. If I think about trying again, all I’m going to think about is losing.” They go into it with that, right? But what you have to get your brain to do is go really quickly through a thought and go, “Okay, stop being emotional. Let’s be factual about how could I win, how to take calculated risk rather than just risk.” I think that’s where people miss. They get stuck in the emotional part of losing or winning, or fear or doubt instead of the actual fact, right?

Lara:So what made you keep going? Why didn’t you just stop and give up? Go, “Right, I’ve got cancer now. I’m divorced. I have cancer. Yeah, I was doing good, but now here I’m getting sideswiped again.” Why even bother?

Danelle:Right. Right, three kids.

Lara:Yeah, three little ones. Why am I even doing this? Yeah.

Danelle:I go, “You know what? They’re going to have a hard life sometimes. There’s going to be hard things that happen, and if I give up, what am I teaching them to do?” Instead, they got to watch me on this whole journey. They were a part of it. I enrolled them in my win. I said, “Listen, when we do this, we’ll get to do this. Can you help me? Mommy has to be gone one more time. Can you help me and we’ll go here together?” It wasn’t easy on them either, right? But I was determined to be in their classroom, to be there, to build a business where I could be home and also with them, and also make money and help us live a big dream, right?

            But you look in your kids’ eyes and I go there’s not a day I tell them, “Hey, go out and be average today. Go shoot under the radar, right?” [LAUGHTER] “Don’t be noticed.” We can’t tell ourselves that, right? Parent yourself is what I tell people. I go, “Listen, would you allow your kid to under swing? No! Would you tell them, ‘Hey, I’d like you to go get a C- today?’ No.” We have to lead ourselves in that way because they’re watching. We know, right? They pick up everything.

Lara:They are watching. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:I mean they’re quick, right? “Remember when you said…” Hmm, I do.

Lara:Oops. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Right?

Lara:Hoping you’d forget that. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yeah, but it’s also over those years I worked with thousands of entrepreneurs. To see that look of hunger in their eye and see people give up on it, maybe I’m an empath. I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to see people aching for joy and refusing to go get it, being afraid to go get it, thinking they were unworthy of going to go get it. That’s what happened. I got divorced. I thought I was unworthy, right? I thought, “I don’t deserve this. I don’t know.” I was determined to go, “You know what? Every kid, every adult, every human being is worthy of this life or they wouldn’t have one. How can I help them live it?” Because that joy that they’re looking for, the highest-viewed video in the world is about people saying the one thing that they want in life is to be happy. Well, happy only comes when you live your potential. Happy can’t be faked. It’s not money. It’s not things.

Lara:Exactly.

Danelle:If you live your absolute best… and I can’t stand to see people quit on it, capable people who want more, right? Now there’s lazy people out there. I don’t usually help them.

Lara:Well, they don’t want help.

Danelle:They don’t want any. [LAUGHTER]

Lara:They don’t want it. [LAUGHTER] They don’t want our help. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:I give people a little tester when they say, “Hey, I want your help.” I go, “Great, start here,” and I check back in with them in a week. [00:20:00]If they haven’t done it, I usually don’t help them again.

Lara:Well, good. That’s good. You know.

Danelle:Yeah. [LAUGHTER]

Lara:You know who to help and who not to. We can’t help everyone, anyway.

Danelle:No. We can’t do it.

Lara:You can’t. You can’t. They have to want. They have to want it. They have to have a hunger.

Danelle:Be willing.

Lara:Yeah, be willing and open, and you were willing and open.

Danelle:Yeah.

Lara:You need people that hear that.

Danelle:Yeah, shy. Literally, every mentor that I met, this is how I started the conversation. I go, “Listen, I’ll work harder than anybody you’ve ever met. Show me how to do what you’ve done, and I will help a lot of people.” They all responded to it, all of it. I said that line over and over to every mentor I met.

Lara:And you paid them $0.11 to come speak. No, I’m just kidding. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yeah, only the first time. The next time it was more like $25,000 and I was getting sponsors and all these things, and I was like $180,000 in debt going, “What am I doing?” Right? “This is my kids’ college tuition. I have nothing.” It all worked out okay.

Lara:You go big or you go home. You went big. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yes.

Lara:You went big. I love it. We are going to take a break right now and we’ll be right back with Danelle Delgado.

[BREAK]

Lara:Welcome back. I’m Lara Jaye with The Zen Leaderand you can find me here at WSRQradio.com or larajaye.com. Danelle, you can find her at danelledelgado.com and what was the other one? Life Intended?

Danelle:Yes.

Lara:.com. Awesome. Danelle, I have taken your online class and how you and I met was even kind of just a… I always say it’s a fluke or coincidence, but it’s not. It never is. We’re sitting in the back of the room of a conference, and I sat next to you.

Danelle:I was hiding.

Lara:I know. We were hiding. [LAUGHTER] I so enjoyed getting to know you and taking your online class. One of the things that you say is you talk about your inner confidence relates to your outer skills. What does that really mean?

Danelle:Yeah, I think most people ache for confidence, right? But what they miss is that confidence comes from competence, right? If you really want to be fully authentically selling, business-wise, entrepreneur, loving your life, you have to authentically have the skills to do so, right? It doesn’t just happen that one person wakes up, and all of a sudden, they feel amazing and they’re going to take on the world and win, and the mountains move in their favor. That doesn’t happen. It’s taking a tactical assault on your life, right? If there’s something you lack well, go to a book. If there’s something you need, look online, YouTube. My nine-year-old twins say that, right? [LAUGHTER]

Lara:They know how to find things on Google we don’t.

Danelle:Right? Here, let me show you this on your phone. It’s really remarkable, and so I challenge people that if you really want that confidence that will move the world in your favor, it comes competence and you have to learn those skills. My library is the best thing I own. It changed my life. I graduated from college with two degrees and never finished a book, believe it or not. I went to nursing school. Be glad I am not your nurse.

Lara:[LAUGHTER] Oh, my gosh! Good to know. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Right? I ended up teaching science and health, and I loved it for a short time working with kids, but I learned how to read when I was an adult. I was 29 years old, and it challenged me to read for growth, right? There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t read 30 minutes to an hour every single day.

Lara:I’m like that, too. You mentioned Og Mandino. What are some of the other books that you just crave that really helped you?

Danelle:Relentless by Tim Grover is one of my absolute favorites. I actually read… so Tim Grover was Michael Jordan’s trainer. He’s actually coming to speak at my event in January in Colorado. Amazing, right? So Tim Grover and Grant Cardone’sThe 10X Rule. I read those two books together and ta-da! My company exploded. I think they spoke my language, right? They spoke my language of now maybe they both curse a little bit. That’s not…

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:But they spoke my language of you are here. Be better. Be greater. Go big. You were meant for this. Why listen to anything else? So, I did that. But I also believe people should start with Jack Canfield, The Success Principles. They should get those things down to where our habits are what create our life. The Miracle Morning, waking up earlier, although I stay up really late because I work Australia after my kids go to bed, because it’s daytime there. [LAUGHTER]

Lara:Right.

Danelle:But books, study. You can get a master’s degree in anything you want for free online, right? But I will tell you. I encourage everyone to pay for their training that they want, because when they pay, they pay attention.

Lara:They do, right?

Danelle:Mm-hmm, yep. It’s the only way. I have given people information for free all the time. They never implement it. Never. I have never had one person implement for free. It’s when they paid for training that they actually put the work in, because it has to have a return.

Lara:Absolutely. You are an author and your book I Choose Joy. Tell me about that. What made you write that?

Danelle:Yes. My second one is coming out, actually, in a few weeks, which I’m excited about. The first one is what I believe will change every human to find their happy, and it’s what did it for me, right? Divorce, cancer, things after things, after challenge after challenge. I was taught to live in gratitude, okay? When things are going bad, do something good, right? But it’s a practice that transforms lives, and it comes down to three things, right?

            #1: Write down 10 things you’re grateful for every single day. In the beginning, believe me, it was difficult. I was like, “For this table, for water.” I was stretching for things, and I was in a really struggle some time. I was given a gratitude journal when I found out I had cancer, and I was like, “I’m not grateful right now at all.”

Lara:I am like pissed. [LAUGHTER] I am not grateful, right?

Danelle:I am going to take this gratitude journal and…

Lara:Throw it at you. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:[LAUGHTER] But I listened, right? I was open. The 10 things every single day, and I believe that practice gave me a new outlook on the world. Where most people see struggle and challenge and hard, I go learn to love it. Man, that’s what makes you great. I love challenges. Things pop up and I’m like, “Sweet! Let’s fix it.”

Lara:Oh, my gosh! Seriously? [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:It changed everything in my life, but the funny thing is people couldn’t do it everyday. They would not do it everyday. They’re like, “Oh, I did it today. Oh, I do it every once in a while when I need to be happy.” No, what you do everyday is more important than what you do every once in a while, right? So gratitude every single day. Seriously, one year later is when I launched my company, and that’s what happened. It’s gratitude, and then the next section in the book every single day is about growth, and it’s about writing down one thing you learned that you read that day that you’re going to implement. It’s you learn something everyday, your gratitude everyday, and the other piece is goals. Three goals.

            I usually have people do two short-term and one long-term, and it’s the who, the what, the what you’re going to sacrifice, what’s the end result. Because if you’re focused on them every single day, they happen. You make the choices inherently to just make those things happen because you’re focused on them. Those three things are what made me do in two and a half years of life what most people never do or the big guns usually do in 10 to 20 years. I had very, very quick success and I believe it came down to those three basic principles, and people can implement them every single day. The journal is 365 days. It’ll take you through one year of complete transformation personally, mentally, so that you can achieve what you want to.

Lara:Beautiful, and for our New Year, what a great item to find. It’s on Amazon.com. Go on Amazon. Your new book, tell me. Can you talk about your new book yet?

Danelle:Yes. Yes, I can. It’s called Overcoming Ish. You know how most people are like, “I’ll be there around 7:30-ish?” Right.

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Are you happy-ish?

Lara:Ish.

Danelle:Everybody is okay and content. I believe the ish is what keeps them from living their best life. They’re saying, “Well, I’m happier than my neighbor. I’m better than most. I do pretty well,” right? It’s this mentality that this world has taught. I believe that when you are living your potential — I know we talked about this a little bit — there’s something that clicks in your brain. When you go to your limits and then you see them expand, you realize that there really is no ceiling in this life. You realize that you are a tool, an instrument, that can be trained and equipped to do massive things, right?

            It’s like kids. I believe we’re naturally designed to ascend. We’re born. They squawk, then they babble. Then they say words, then they yell. Then a well-trained voice becomes an instrument that can sing. The same thing with kids. They’re born. They roll. They crawl. They walk. They run. Really well trained, they become an Olympian. [00:30:00]

The same thing with our lives, right? We have this moment in which we’re designed to ascend, and any time we act opposite of that, it stops our natural inclination to grow, become and do. Overcoming Ishis about that. It’s to go, “Listen, we’re designed to ascend. I also believe we’re designed to assist others.” That’s just natural. I dropped something. You’ll help me pick it up. You open a door. Those are normal things, and if we all operated that way, things move in our favor. I truly believe it. That’s what that is about. It’ll be coming out beginning of 2018.

Lara:Woo hoo! I can’t wait. I can’t wait to read that. Go ahead, what?

Danelle:I said we need to cut the ish.

Lara:Yes, we need to cut the ish. I love that. I love that. We’ve got about a minute left. You’ve heard that quote, “You’re the five closest people you hang out with.” [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Yeah.

Lara:You have proven that, right? It’s made a difference in your life.

Danelle:Yes. If you see anyone standing next to me, they’re better than me at something, right? I’m very careful who is in my world, especially who’s in my brain. Yeah, people don’t realize how bad one negative friend could impact them or one person who doesn’t believe in gratitude and opportunity or entrepreneurship, or even how you feel about people, changes everything.

Lara:And doesn’t believe in you. I mean it just really takes you down very quickly. Well, we are going to take our last break, and we’ll be right back with Danelle Delgado.

[BREAK]

Lara:We’re back. I’m Lara Jaye with The Zen Leader, and this is our last segment. Darn it! It goes so fast. I’m with Danelle Delgado. Danelle, I’ve had so much fun talking with you. I want to talk about the Negative Nelly that enters our headspace when we’re trying to reach our potential every single day, for our listeners who really are trying to break out of the mold and reach that potential, but then here comes the Negative Nelly and the things that hold us back. It’s in our own head. It’s our own space. How did you break out of that to begin with?

Danelle:That’s the #1 fail button for every person who’s trying to do something big, is we’re our own worst enemies. You’ve heard that before. The problem is I think as we spend so much time hearing that and listening to that that we feel like we actually are supposed to be our own worst enemies, right? Oh, I’m my own worst critic. Well, I tell people, “Watch your words,” right? First and foremost, you have to train your brain. So, studying every single day. I stopped listening to what anybody who told me anything growing up said, right, except one person, my grandpa. He was very wise. But everybody else, I said, “Listen, I’m replacing all of those memories with people who have had success.” So books refilled my mind, okay? That’s the first thing.

            Once you fix your mind and that’s a consistent, habitual thing, then you can fix your words, okay? I always tell people. I go, “Listen, the quality of your words determine the caliber of your life.” So if you are speaking those things to yourself or you’re speaking doubt or anything negative about yourself or someone tells you, “Hey, I love your dress,” and you’re like, “Oh, thanks. It was on sale.” No, take the compliment and say, “Thank you.”

Lara:Own it.

Danelle:Right? Those kinds of things are extremely important, but people are careless with their words. They are ish about their words, right? They’re like, “Oh, I feel fat today.” Well, you look it because you said it.

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Right? What if you responded like that to your accountability partner. If somebody who was my accountability partner told me, “Oh, I look so fat today,” I’m like, “You’re right. You do.” A thought is a thing. Get it together.

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Right? I think that you have to work on the mind. The mind is powerful. I do this example with a champagne tower, right, these glasses. I take water and I pour it in and I go, “Listen, this is what fills your brain every single day. You’re on top and everything that you fill in your brain goes down to everybody else below you. They’re all people.” So your brain and then all the other brains below you. Then, if I take one drop of red dye, just one negative thought and I put it in the top, yet I keep pouring positive thoughts in the top, what happens? It all goes down to everything below. If you allow one negative thought, you’re impacting everyone around you. Stop being selfish with your brain.

Lara:Ouch! [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:Right?

Lara:Yeah, we need to take some responsibility for that.

Danelle:Yes, and everything we do impacts everyone around us. If you want to be positive for your kids, you want to teach them right, you’d better get your brain right because it’s impacting them, okay? Then I take this other pitcher of water and it has a little bit of bleach in it, and I say, “Listen, if you really want it to be gone for good, then every negative thought, every horrible word, you have to hold yourself accountable and retrain it, and reprocess. Set those new paradigms in motion by one thing and that’s taking action every single day. New actions, right? New habits solve old problems.

Lara:I love that. That’s what you do. You started new habits.

Danelle:Everyday. Everyday. If I see something starting to happen like I hit snooze two days in a row, or I go, “That’s it. Massive change. I’m getting up 20 minutes earlier.” I usually do it 21 or 22 minutes earlier. I’m resetting this. I am not doing this or if I go, “You know what? I’ll do my reading or my gratitude journal later today or right before bed,” and I fall asleep in it. I stop the habit. I go, “Listen, new habits solve old problems.” If there’s a goal you have not yet hit, it’s because there’s a personal goal you haven’t yet attended to. They’re attached. I just look at my kids, and we have pictures of us all around the house all day, everyday, and I go, “Listen, go be great today. They’re watching.” Go be great today.

Lara:I love that.

Danelle:Somebody is counting on you to show up. So, it is. I go, “Who will lose because you don’t win?” If I don’t go win today, somebody is not going to hear my message and it could have saved their life. It could have helped them build a million-dollar business that saved families and families and families. I think it’s selfish if we don’t live our greatness because it’s hurting somebody who needs it.

Lara:Absolutely. On my show, we talk a lot about self-care. I know you travel a lot. You’re a single mom of three, little kids. They’re not driving yet, I don’t think.

Danelle:Yeah.

Lara:Your children aren’t driving yet. You’re still driving them. So, a single mom, traveling, speaking internationally. You’re not just around the corner working. How do you take care of yourself, because you got cancer? You weren’t taking care of yourself. Now what have you implemented in your life to prevent that?

Danelle:Yeah, I think this is the area of my life, I’ll be honest with you, that I’m always ever changing, growing and working on. But what I’ve done this year is if I can travel the world to go help people, then people can travel the world that come to me. I have my trainer come to me. I have the gal who does my eyelashes and my nails come to my house. I eliminate all of the extra struggle, travel, and all of those kinds of things. If there’s things that will take up my time away from healing myself, everybody comes to me. Listen, I am going to take care of myself. This is important, because some days it’s like, “Do you want to go to the gym?” Not really, right? So you won’t. But guess what? The gym rings my doorbell and goes, “Let’s go,” right? It was 14 degrees here yesterday. Joe shows up boxing mitts in hand and goes, “Let’s go out to the garage, out to the gym.” I’m like, “It’s freezing. Can’t we do it inside today?” He was like, “Nah, you’ll warm up. Here’s your jump rope.” Right?

Lara:[LAUGHTER]

Danelle:For me, it’s doing that. I also have my meals brought in because it’s tempting to not eat right and just eat whatever is leftover, or not eat because I’m working all day. My meals are delivered, and my trainer is delivered. I had to reorganize my life so that I could take care of me first or nobody is here to do those things. That is probably the biggest change that I made this year to really give back to myself so that I can take care of the vessel that takes care of a lot of people.

Lara:Exactly, and you have to do that. We’re no good to anyone else unless we are at the top of our game taking care of ourselves first.

Danelle:Right.

Lara:I definitely agree with that. How would you personally define success?

Danelle:Good question. I believe success is when you live your potential everyday as a habit, right? Not as sometimes, but as always, as your normal is your best, right? Wake up. Go be great. Somebody needs you to today, and you owe it to yourself. It’s a personal responsibility to value your life. I try to never let one day go by where I don’t show the ultimate respect for the life I’ve been given.

Lara:That’s beautiful. You know, Danelle, even you saying go be great and telling your kids that, what if we… if I think about if I would have heard that when I was younger, or so many of our listeners, if they would have heard that even once, “Go be great.”[00:40:05]Not just, “Get out there and get a C.” Because kind of sometimes people hear that. [LAUGHTER]

Danelle:There is a really big story behind go be great, that has made me who I am, for sure. My grandpa, he’s kind of the only one who really fully believed in me, and he was the wisest person in the world. When he passed away, I was in the middle of this divorce and it was terrible. They didn’t want me to see him and he could hardly speak. But he cleared the room and let me come in and speak to him, and he could hardly speak, and those were his last words to me was, “Go be great.” [LAUGHTER]

            Those words are really powerful to me and every single day that’s what I tell my kids. It’s what I sign off every single video. It’s a message to myself as well that life is precious and it doesn’t matter what anybody tells you. No one is your judge except you. Go be great.

Lara:What a beautiful gift your grandfather gave you.

Danelle:Yeah.

Lara:That’s huge, and now you can share it with others and encourage them to go be great. Unfortunately, we have only a minute left. Top tips for someone who’s struggling, wanting, needing to make money, put food on the table, take care of their kids, playing small, what do they do? Where do they start?

Danelle:With a book. [LAUGHTER]

Lara:With a book. What book? Which one? Yours?

Danelle:I would start with I Choose Joy and then an area in your expertise. Study, become a master, learn, then teach, then you can monetize.

Lara:Learn, then teach, and then you can monetize it. You can find Danelle to help you monetize it. [LAUGHTER] Right?

Danelle:Every Friday night on Facebook, I do an hour training live.

Lara:Every Friday night. Friday night live. I love that and what is that Facebook page?

Danelle:It’s at Facebook.com/danelledelgado. Every Friday night, I train for an hour at 8PM Mountain Time.

Lara: Oh, my gosh. Such a pleasure, Danelle, to have you on the show. Thank you so much.

Danelle:Thank you much.

Lara:Awesome!

Danelle:I’m so glad we got to do it together.

Lara:Me, too! I’m so excited. Thank you, listeners, for joining me on The Zen Leader Show, and until next time, choose happy. Have a great week.

 

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