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We are all looking for happiness. In love. In our work. Other relationships. Our stuff. As soon as we think we’ve got “it”, it slips through our hands. The illusiveness of happiness is never ending. Until now.
Join Lara Jaye to Find Your Happy once and for and learn HOW to KEEP IT!
This podcast will help you find that happy spot within while learning practical tips and tools to benefit you in all areas of your life.
Lara Jaye will dive deep into the message that we don’t think we are GOOD enough, HAVE enough, or are DOING enough. She will reiterate the importance of understanding that self-love is not a luxury, in fact, is a necessity for health, happiness and fulfillment. Lara will shed light on the reasons why no amount of money, work, food, or material items can fill your emptiness. It’s time to get back to YOU! It’s time to get back to living life full-on!
If you’re ready for a PROFOUND AND DEEP shift in your life, then listen on…
Come ready to receive….
•decrease in stress
•opportunity for deeper relationships and improved health
•sense of happiness and a newfound zest for life
•tools to tap into your happy spot anytime/anywhere
Lara’s unique approach allows for participants to release blocks that holds them back in order to be centered, focused, and happy.
START OF TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00]
Intro:Welcome to The Zen Leaderwith Lara Jaye. Whether you’re a leader at home or in the boardroom, Lara provides the tools to help you get unstuck in different areas of your life. Now here’s your host, Lara Jaye.
Lara:Welcome to The Zen Leader Show, helping you transform your life and find greater satisfaction and peace. I’m your host, Lara Jaye, international bestselling author and speaker, helping you find your happy. You know, that spot inside of you that feels calm and peace, even when chaos is swirling around you.
I am so excited to be here today and we are going to be talking about my favorite topic. I know you’re probably wondering, “Well, what on earth is Lara’s favorite topic?” It is finding your happy. That’s what we’re going to talk about today is how do you find your happy? Everyone asks me, “How do I find my happy? All I want is more money or more time. I want a better relationship, but how do I really find my happy?”
Today we’re going to talk about that because you’ve probably wondered how you can be happy no matter what is going on around you. How about wondering how you could wake up everyday thankful to be alive? Loving that imperfect life of yours. How to know, without a doubt, that you are enough or that you’re doing enough, or that you have enough. These are questions that you’re probably wondering, and we’re going to talk about that today because you’re about to discover my secret sauce to happiness. People ask me this all the time, and I’m going to tell you today.
You probably are also wondering how to stay calm when chaos is swirling around you. We are going to be talking about that today. We’re going to talk about why you attract things in your life that you don’t want. That’s super important, right? How about I’m going to show you what to do with your mind chatter and how to love yourself without being selfish? All of these things are super important. That’s my promise. My promise to you is that by the end of this hour you are going to know how to be happy no matter what’s happening in your life. That’s what I want everyone to know, how to be happy no matter the chaos that’s swirling around us.
People will say, “Well, who are you?” Maybe you’re wondering, “Who are you and why should I even listen to you?” If you’ve been following me here on The Zen Leaderor checked out my website, you do. You know a little bit about me. But I am an international bestselling author. I have three books out. My main book, my first book that came out in 2014, and then I did a second edition in 2015 called More Than Enough: Discover Your Limitless Potential and Live Your Bravest Dream. You’ll hear a lot of what I talk about today is in that book.
I have a bachelor’s from Butler University. It’s actually in radio/TV. Hey, I’m using my major! Isn’t that exciting? Go radio! Of course, the radio show host here of The Zen Leader, iCoach University-certified and lots and lots of life experience, right? That is why I am here before you today. One of the reasons, probably the main reason, is my life experience and why I can say how I found my happy versus not, versus not being happy.
I am from — and you’ve probably heard this before — a very small town in northern Indiana and grew up on 80 acres, a dirt road. That was my life. I was the second-oldest of four children, and I come from a very long line of entrepreneurs: my great-grandfather, my grandfather, my dad, my brothers, myself. My great-grandfather started a company in 1921, and it’s still around today all over the world. Two things about my family. Again, one of them: I come from a long line of entrepreneurs, very successful in the worldly view of life. What I learned was that when you’re working, you’re a success. When you’re doing, do, do, do, you’re a success. You’re successful. There’s no time to rest. It’s all about do, do, do all the time. It’s not about being. It’s never about that. It’s how productive can you be? How productive can you be?
The second thing about my family: I come from a long line of alcoholics. Now if you know anything about alcohol or living in an alcoholic home, it’s peace at all costs. You walk around on pins and needles. I learned that when you’re stressed you numb yourself. You don’t feel. You don’t think. You don’t talk. It took years before I fully developed a healthy self-esteem and realistic point of view of life. It took a really long time.
Right from my childhood, my dysfunctional childhood, which many of us have had dysfunctional childhoods. No blame. It’s just it is what it is. It made me who I am today. Your circumstances have made you who you are today, and that’s okay. I went right from this family of peace at all cost, pleasing everyone, walking around on pins and needles into getting married the week after college graduation to my pretty much high school, hometown sweetheart. We dated three years. He was six years older and had the perfect family. He and I were great together. We had two amazing boys and just started out great, as most [LAUGHTER] marriages do, right?
As things progressed, I was really struggling. But from the outside looking in, we had the perfect family. We had the perfect vacations. We looked like we had the perfect life. Pillars of the community, keys to the church, taught all the Bible studies, all of it, vacations, cars. I started my own marketing company and was working from home as well as a little bit outside of the home. From the outside looking in, things were picture perfect — as they are for many of us — as we look into people’s homes and into their lives on Facebook, right? Everything looks so perfect as we think, right?
I can guarantee you they’re not. [LAUGHTER] I can guarantee you that these lives that we’re peering into on social media are not perfect. You know what? The window might be perfectly decorated. It might look beautiful from the outside, but inside, there’s probably something going on. Very few have really grasped this concept of true happiness and how to find it. But by the end of this hour, if you can take just some of what we talk about and instill it into your life, you are going to be amazed at how amazing you feel and what changes.
Again, I have this perfect little life and what happens. Massive crisis, right? As things appear perfect, here comes crisis mode. The end of my marriage. The end of my marriage after 25 years, and a serious health crisis. I was very depressed and I also ended up with several autoimmune diseases. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a serious health crisis, became an empty nester, had a spiritual awakening that I resisted to no end. [LAUGHTER] I was bedridden. I would crawl from my bed to the couch. I was so sick and I did not know what was wrong. But I just knew deep inside of me that there was more to life. I knew this was not the life that I had signed up for. Maybe you feel that way. This is not the life I signed up for. Why is everything so hard? I would say that to myself. I would say that to my family, and they would just kind of roll their eyes at me like, “I don’t know.” But I was just feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t feel good. I got sicker and sicker and sicker, and it went on and on and on.
It was really interesting, as all of these things just were thrown into a big ball. All I could do, like I said, was crawl from my bed to the couch just to say, “I got up for the day.” I would stare out the window and I would pray, and I would ask God. I would say, “Why am I here? Why am I here? Why on earth am I here? If I’m going to stay here, if you’re not going to take me, what can I do to get better?”
That was the start. All you have to do is ask that. That was the start of me writing as a way to heal. That was the way that I climbed out of this massive crisis. The things that I’m going to teach you over the next hour were things that I was taught on that couch, most of it. [00:10:04]I was all taught on that couch, one-on-one, time with God going, “This is what you need to do to climb out of this pit.” These are the things that I’m going to be telling you today several years later that work. They work. I’m not a pillar of health, but I am pretty… I’m doing great. I feel amazing. I feel amazing. I have so much energy. It is incredible. These steps, the energy, the happiness that I feel, I’m so excited to share that with you when we come back from break. We will be right back after these messages.
Lara:Welcome back from break. I am Lara Jaye with The Zen Leader. You can find me here at WSRQradio.com or larajaye.com. We are talking today about finding your happy, which this is my favorite thing to talk about in finding your happy and why? Because this is the one thing I didn’t have. I had everything else. Material things. Big whoops, right? As we all find out later, it doesn’t mean anything.
Happiness is within. Happiness is within, which I think you’re finding that out. If you haven’t already, you’ve probably found that out. If you’re listening to The Zen Leader, you know where happiness comes from. Now the key is, “How do I get in there? How do I get that and grab it and live it and be it?” Well, we’re going to figure that out today.
Anyway, my favorite topic: happiness. I know. It’s a word that’s so overused, but you know what? It’s the one thing that every single person gets up in the morning and looks for, pretty much, except most people, a lot of people still go out to the mailbox looking for mail and all we have in there is bills, sometimes. [LAUGHTER] … if they’re not electronic, but we are looking. We’re not going to find happiness in the mail, in a check, in other people. We know that. But these principles that I’m teaching today are so important, and this message, these messages that I got on the couch when I was super sick, that I put all into More Than Enough, that book, Discover Your Limitless Potential and Live Your Bravest Dream.
Why? Because I was not living any kind of dream. I was living a nightmare and maybe you are, too. Maybe it looks perfect from the outside, but you’re still struggling. If you are, this is what you can do. Again, from the couch, these principles came into me and I started doing all of these things that I’m going to talk about today. From there, I made some massive choices in my life.
One of the first things I did was I moved to the beach. [LAUGHTER] I moved from northern Indiana — from middle Indiana, at that time the Indianapolis area — to Siesta Key, Florida and I got warm. I always dreamt of having a condo on the beach. You know what? It was time. It was my time and I did it.
I’m so excited to enjoy that time and participate in the water activities. I started having fun in my life, hanging out with my kids more, riding my bike, doing a lot of, like I said, the outdoor activities. The kayaking, the boating. I flew to Spain with my youngest son and went to Japan with my oldest. These were things — the traveling, Costa Rica with an entrepreneurial group — that I needed to do to fill me up. Every single day I’d be like, “What can I do? What can I do that can bring some joy into my life to start over?”
I joined some entrepreneurial groups, like I said, Speaking Empire in Tampa, Florida. I was part of an inspired-living group out in LA. Then, again, I mentioned the trip to Costa Rica with that entrepreneurial group, Soul Purpose Wealth. The bottom line is all of these things that I poured into myself, I realized over and over and over that this inner happiness that I had just exploded inside of me, and it provided such freedom in my life to make these amazing choices that I didn’t have to sit on the couch and stare out the window and go, “Oh, poor me,” anymore. You don’t have to either. This inner happiness is freedom. It’s freedom to make amazing choices to live an awesome life. You get to do that.
One of the problems is we all have challenges. We all have challenges in our life. You do, too, right? You could be feeling frustrated, angry, impatient. What about judgmental? That’s actually a challenge. That’s actually an issue. How about jealous? Are you feeling jealous, fearful? Life, itself, can be traumatic.
Let’s talk about natural disasters. What Florida just went through and Texas, and many of the others… deaths. Just this year alone in 2017, in one month, I lost my mom and the next month, two of my nephews, very young. My brother lost two of his four boys all within a week of each other.
We are not in control. We never know how much time we have. But this happens. This stuff happens and how do you find your happy in the midst of traumatic events? We have to. We grieve and these are challenges. But we can’t let this stuff pull us down. We can’t let these feelings, these emotions pull us down. The more that we stay in these energy states, it only breeds more of the same. We know that scientifically these feelings of anger, impatience, or jealously only breeds more of the same. It sends out chemicals, so we just attract more of the same. Then there’s that downward spiral. Is that really what we want in our life? No, I don’t think so.
We know that happiness isn’t found outside of us. It’s not in more money. It’s not in a new car, not in vacations, perfect body, a new, bigger house, a partner, a new partner or the same partner revamped. [LAUGHTER] It might be in shoes. Just kidding! But it is not. Happiness is not found outside of us. You know, the beach. For me, moving to the beach, it was a choice I made. I was happy before I went. This was just to add to my joy. That brings me joy. We know happiness is not found outside of us.
But you know what? I have a bigger reason for being before you, a bigger reason for having this radio show, a bigger reason for doing all the things that I do. It’s my ultimate desire to just pour into you, to yourself, to be empowered and encouraged so that you can, in turn, affect those at your own work, at your own house. This allows for just a more open, more amazing, and more loving world. Isn’t that what we all so desire? This world of peace where people aren’t hurting each other anymore, a place where you can get up in the morning and feel amazing. A place where if you feel beat up at work, you can go home at night. You can go home at night and know that your home is a place of peace and love. It all starts with you. It doesn’t start with looking at everybody else and blaming other people. It starts with you looking within. That’s the only place it begins is you looking within.
I have five steps to find your happy, and we’re going to get through all of them this hour. Step 1: Get real. Step 2: Silence the mind chatter. 3: Practice your M&Ms. We’ll talk about what that is. Body brilliance. We’re going to talk about your body and what to do with this darn thing, right? My step 5 is follow your joy. These are my main five steps to finding your happy. Without these, I would be nowhere. Again, a massive crisis. It is time to get real. It’s time for you to get real in your life and go, “If things are falling apart, who are you going to blame?” This isn’t about blaming. It’s about looking within. It’s about looking within, getting real with yourself, and how do you do that? You get still. Be still and know, right? Be still and know.[00:20:00]That’s the only way. We’ve got to shut off the TVs. We’ve got to shut off the radio. We’ve got to unplug. We need to unplug as my friend Dave says in Siesta Key. We need to unplug and be still. Once we get quiet, then we can hear. We can hear and notice what’s happening inside of us. We begin to notice. We begin to be aware. Being still promotes all of that. But when we have so much chaos going on in our lives, we can’t. We can’t do anything.
It’s time to get still, begin to notice, and become aware. What are we noticing? We’re going to start noticing the things that trigger us. [LAUGHTER] I know you’re thinking, “Uh-oh.” You’re in line at the grocery store. Somebody said something and you walk out of there so offended. What was that about? Or you’re at work. You’re sitting at your office. Triggers are your clue that you need to sit your little bottom down and get still, get with yourself, and figure out, “Why did that person bother me?” or that person, or that comment bother you. It’s probably not a surface issue. It’s probably something deeper. Dive deep. When we come back from break, we’re going to continue this conversation about my five steps to getting happy and getting real. We’ll be right back.
Lara:I’m Lara Jaye with The Zen Leader. Welcome back and you can find me here at WSRQradio.com or larajaye.com. I have had people say, “How do you say your name?” Lara, Laura. It’s Lara. Like la-rah. My nieces used to call me Aunt La-La-Lara. [LAUGHTER] Just in case you were wondering, I had to throw that in. My mom named me after Dr. Zhivago, that movie, if you have seen it back in the late 60s. Oops, I just said my age. But anyway, Dr. Zhivago. I said, “Mom, did you know you named me after a blonde mistress?” I always teased her. I have really dark hair, so anyway, [LAUGHTER] it’s pretty funny.
Again, Lara Jaye. I’m excited to have you all listening here at The Zen Leader. We are talking about getting happy today, finding your happy, and what that means. You find your happy by looking within. Again, we’re talking about being still, begin to notice, become aware, and then here come some triggers. What’s triggering you? What are some things that are upsetting you? Those are the things that you need to look at.
I know you’re thinking, “How is this going to help me find my happy?” It does. Trust me. You’ve got to go through the process, though. You could get triggered 10 times a day, like I did. These are things in your body. Our emotions get stuck in our body. PTSD. There are so… and not just a massively traumatic event. There are other emotions, things from childhood, things that we don’t even know are stuck in us.
Sometimes when someone says something to us and our body just kind of reacts, that’s our clue that we need to deal with something. I don’t know about you, but me growing up? I didn’t learn how to deal with things. I didn’t learn how to deal with emotions. I learned how to shove and stuff emotions. Don’t talk. Your feelings don’t count. Your emotions don’t count and males have it even worse. They’re not even allowed to cry, right? Be a man. Be tough.
I don’t believe in any of that. I believe that our bodies hold our emotions from birth, and stuff gets stuck in us. If you feel like a stuffed sausage, it’s probably because you’re full of emotions. You’re full of emotions that need to be cleared. That is what triggers do. They bring things up to the surface.
Again, if you’re not being still and begin to notice and become aware of these triggers, you’re not going to be able to heal them. You’re not going to be able to let them go and let them move through us. Again — and maybe I haven’t said this yet — what we resist persists. Let me say that again. What we resist persists. We’re not going to resist these emotions anymore. We’re going to let them come up to be healed. That’s Step 1: Getting real.
Step 2 is silencing the mind chatter. Here’s what happens. We get quiet, and then we start to notice and become aware, and then here comes now we’re quiet. The radio is off. The TV is off. We’re unplugged. Here comes all this mind chatter. Isn’t that one of the reasons that we keep all this noise on around us all the time? Mind chatter. We don’t want to hear ourselves. We don’t want to hear what we have to say to ourselves. Maybe we are too negative. Maybe we’re beating ourselves up like I did all the time.
For whatever reason, I didn’t know that I had a choice of what I think about in my head, and I certainly thought all the negative things that I thought that came through my head were true. You just, as a kid, begin to believe that, and you don’t know any different. Well, I do know different now. I know different and I’m teaching you to know different.
We can take this mind chatter and go, “Hey,” notice it. Imagine, just like a radio station — I liken it to a radio station — you’ve got it on one channel. Maybe it’s a channel that’s pretty hard rock, and you decide, “Hey, I don’t like this anymore.” You change it to a different channel. That’s what we’re going to do. That’s what you encourage you to do. I challenge you to do is listen to that mind chatter, but again, you have to be still. You’ve got to be unplugged. You’ve got to be still and then you can change the radio station to something more positive. Whatever.
Now the other thing that happens with this mind chatter is here comes the emotions. Here comes the emotions. As we get quiet, the mind chatter, the emotions, and I use something called the R.A.I.N. Method. When you’re overwhelmed with emotions, R is Recognize what you’re experiencing or thinking. A is Accept your emotions. Again, what we resist persists. This time we’re going to accept them. I is Investigate your thoughts and emotions. Investigating them, dive deep, go deep, go deeper, go deeper. N, Non-judgmental. Well, that’s a hard one, right? N, Non-judgmental of your thoughts and emotions. Allow them to pass naturally.
Let me give you an example of this. The R.A.I.N. Method, let’s say you are overcome with anger. Again, instead of going to punch a wall, we are going to recognize what we’re experiencing and that is we feel angry, right? Instead of punching or hurting someone, we are going to accept that emotion, because what we resist persists. We’re going to accept that we are angry right now, and we are going to feel it in our body. We’re just going to sit in it. We’re just going to sit in that anger, and we’re going to let it fill us up and build, and we’re going to breathe into it. Again, that’s accepting it. We’re going to investigate it.
Why am I angry? So-and-so just said something to me. Now there’s something deeper, because what they said was silly. There’s something deeper from maybe the past that is making you angry. What is that? That’s where you investigate. Journal if you need to or just take 30 seconds and sit, be still, and think about it. N, Non-judgmental of your thoughts and emotions. Not judging it. Here comes this anger, and you start remembering why. It’s something that happened when you were 10. You were bullied. Made you angry. Allow it to pass. Feel it and then allow it to just move through you. It’s not going to hurt you, but it’s stuck in your body. That anger from something in the past is stuck in you, and so we’re going to let it move through you. Let it naturally go through you so that it doesn’t bother you anymore. [00:30:00]
Step 3, one of my favorites. Practice your M&Ms: mindfulness and meditation. If you were with me here in person, we would have some M&Ms, and we would be doing a little experiment with one M&M, which we’ll get to that in a minute. A lot of people use the words mindfulness and meditation — which, again, are being so overused — but some of them use these words interchangeably. They’re really not interchangeable. Let me tell you the difference. Mindfulness is paying attention to what’s in front of you and not judging it. There’s that not judging it again.
We are so… [LAUGHTER] I have to throw this in. We judge things all the time: good, bad, black, white. We have to label everything. I say no, we don’t. Don’t judge it. Let it go. Who are we to be judged over everything and say what’s right and wrong, and good and bad, and yes and no? Again, not judging. Mindfulness is paying attention to what’s in front of you and not judging it. The good news about mindfulness is it’s a trainable skill. If you haven’t been mindful in the past, you can be in the future because we can teach you how to be mindful.
People say, “Well, why is mindfulness so important? I hear about it all the time. I hear I should meditate. What the heck does that mean?” Well, mindfulness is super important because it develops two important leadership qualities: emotional intelligence and resilience. Let me tell you what emotional intelligence is. It’s the capacity to be aware of, control, and express your emotions, to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically, which frankly, in my opinion, is the key to personal and professional success.
This is huge, to have emotional intelligence. You would think that that would be normal for us, for an adult. Not so. Not so. [LAUGHTER] Secondly, mindfulness is important for resilience, to be able to withstand pressure and/or recover quickly from difficult conditions, to rebound, to come back from those setbacks, to come back from the chaos in your life. This is mindfulness and it’s so important. How do you become mindful? We are going to talk about that as soon as we come back from break. We’ll be right back.
Lara:I’m Lara Jaye with The Zen Leaderand you can find me here at WSRQradio.com or larajaye.com, and we are talking about finding your happy. If you would like more information from me on how I can help you personally find your happy, this is my main expertise and what I do. In January 2018, I’m going to be starting an online class, a six-week class online where we are going to be working together. There’ll be online material as well as we’ll meet twice a week. I say in-person, in our classroom live, to talk about finding your happy and just really exploring it and diving even deeper into these steps.
We’ve only got 10 minutes left and I just really want to give you as much information as I can over these next 10 minutes because this stuff is so important in helping you to let go of your past and not even stay focused on the future, but to stay in the present moment. That was my step 3 and how important mindfulness and meditation is. I was doing the steps, and I didn’t even know what really it was called until I kind of got out of it and looked back and went, “Oh, that’s what I was doing.” [LAUGHTER] Then I saw all the benefits. I was like, “Why do I feel so amazing?” This is why. This is why.
To be mindful, this is what you do. There are many ways to be mindful. One of the ways of how to become mindful is you can do it by meditating. You can do it by purposeful breathing, just focusing on your breath. Yoga brings you into being more mindful. Walking can make you more mindful. Music and dancing, and then I even think walking or getting in nature. These are just resets. You can also become more mindful eating. That’s one of the main ones. These are all ways to become mindful, and the bottom line is anything you can do to bring yourself to the present moment and into your awareness of the five senses can make you more mindful.
Hearing, smelling, seeing, tasting, touching. Whatever you’re doing, especially those things I just mentioned, when you sit down tonight for dinner, bring in the five senses. Bring in your five senses of hearing and smelling, seeing, tasting, touching. Again, if you were with me, we’d have one M&M and we would be doing this. You would enjoy this M&M over a couple-minute period with your eyes closed and just really see how it slows you down and what being mindful does.
Now, meditation is not mindfulness. Meditation is engaging in contemplation or reflection. It’s a form of being mindful. Meditation can reduce stress, increase clarity, lower high blood pressure and decrease tension in the body. It increases your serotonin. I know I need that. It improves the immune system. I know I need that. You probably do, too. It increases energy levels. We all need that. How about improving concentration? Meditation does that. Problems shrink when you are meditating. These are all scientific studies. When you’re meditating, it also brings to mind solutions.
Now all of these things are all huge benefits of meditation, and the great news about meditating is that the results are cumulative, just like exercise. If you do it for five minutes one day exercising, you can go further and faster the next day, and it builds upon the next. As you embrace the practice, these benefits just continue to accumulate. I encourage my clients to start with meditating five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. I really, especially in the beginning, if you’re just starting to meditate, grab yourself a guided meditation. Maybe something off YouTube or on an app, something like Headspace on the phone… something guided. Because in my opinion, it gives your mind something to do so that it doesn’t take off and try to run the world while you’re trying to get settled down. Again, focus on guided meditation, a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes at night, just to get started and see. I dare you. I dare you to see how much better you feel and what it does.
For me, it gives me my little happy, peaceful, calm place. Then after that, after you’ve been doing it for a while, you can meditate on your health, on your wealth, spouse. Feel where you want to live, your work, and your passion. Then you can meditate on the future things and bring them into your present. But in the beginning, just focus on being present, bringing in those five senses.
Step #4: Body brilliance, connecting to your body. I don’t know about you, but I hate… hated. Let me use the past tense. I hated my body. I hated taking care of it. I hated feeding it. I ignored it. In high school, even, I had a beautiful dresser and I had cardboard covered on this mirror on my dresser. [LAUGHTER] I completely covered cardboard and I remember… I don’t know if it was my junior prom. I was all dressed for prom and I had to peel off the cardboard just to make sure my dress was on straight and to see. Then immediately, I put the cardboard back up because I hated the way I looked and thought I was fat and ugly. I think at the time I weighed oh, under 120 pounds, but you think you’re so heavy as a woman. Probably some boy told me I was fat at one point, so you think that. You don’t know any different.
Body brilliance. Connect to your body. As you can see, that’s where I was. It took me a really long time to go, “Hey, you know what? I am going to love you, body. I am going to love you no matter what. I don’t understand why you’re fighting me.” [00:40:00]But I do now. All I did was send it negative messages, and I didn’t understand why it wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do, why it wasn’t losing weight when I wanted it to. I didn’t understand why my hair was falling out, why I was all puffy. I was so disconnected from my body. We need to be connected to our body in many different ways. One is intellectually, which is I talked about the mind and the mind chatter, and how powerful it is. We need to be connected to our bodies intellectually.
Physically. Obviously, exercise and nutrition are super uber important. You cannot not do that. One of the first things I did several years ago when I found out I had the autoimmune disease was I hired a nutritionist, and I’ve actually had Carmina on my Zen Leader, one of The Zen Leadershows. You can find that in the archives. Physically and nutritionally is so important. Of course, walking, getting outside. Walking in nature has been so healing for me. Whether it be on the beach or hiking out in the woods, it’s super great for my body.
Emotionally we talked about important it is to feel our emotions. Lastly, energy. How we manage our time, our body, the toxic people we’re around, all of this is very important. We have to know that self-love… my friend Mary Burkhart says, “Self-love is not a luxury. In fact, it’s a necessity for health, happiness, and fulfillment.” I love Miss Mary. She wrote that for my book More Than Enough, and we’ve only got a couple minutes left. I’m going to briefly go over follow your joy, and that is my last step in finding your happy.
You’ve got to ask yourself. We’ve got to do a lot of journaling, praying, and meditation. If you really want to find true happiness, you’ve got to ask yourself really important questions. You’ve got to be still, get inside of you and figure out what it is that brings you joy. What brings you back to joy when life is tough? Make a list of those 20 items and remember that you know what? This life, it’s a journey. It’s not a destination. It’s not a, “I’ll be happy when this happens, or I’ll be happy then or when I get this.” No, we’re going to be happy right here, right now, no matter what chaos is swirling around us.
It’s about following that joy, follow the breadcrumbs of life, the yellow brick road. Be open to the adventure. It’s about being curious. I just got curious. I got curious about life and going, “What makes me happy?” Go down a road a little bit. Oh, that didn’t. Okay, I’m going to turn right instead of going left. I just had to figure it out. But for me and for you, too, I had to remember I had free will. We get to choose every single day whether to be happy or not. Did you know it’s a choice? It’s a choice. It’s your choice.
We have to become aware of the programs that are running in our head. Stop and restart always from a place of gratitude. Happiness is found inside of us. It’s found in loving ourselves, our own joy. It’s about going within. It’s inside of us all along. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, she had the answers. She had the answers, happy inside of her the entire time. She knew her way home. We’re already happy. Be it, live it. It’s already found in this stillness. It’s already found in the stillness and the quiet of our own heart.
Again, thank you for joining me on The Zen Leader Showtoday. I invite you to listen in every Saturday at 10AM here on WSRQ, online, or on our iTunes podcast for even more amazing conversations with visionaries like myself who are here to share their wisdom to support you in finding your happy. Until next time, choose happy.
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